Spanglish humour, fruit madness, footballers who don´t pass and Thundercats

7pm Wed 28 May: There have been some unfortunate moments during my DIY Spanish lessons in Lima.
Like the time I used the handy tip that many Spanish words are the old-fashioned English ones with an 'o' or 'a' on the end.
Errr...apart from embarazo and yo caliente.
They don't mean embarrassed and I´m hot...but pregnant and I´m horny. Oh, that's why Nati's family were laughing.
Dropped an even bigger clanger yesterday.
Announcing to Nati that my pal Cago had emailed me, muffled guffaws broke out, as Nati explained cago actually means I´m sh*tting!
Moving on...we´ve had five fun weeks in Peru. It's very different to England and attracts 60,000 British tourists every year.
If you want to find out more about the Land of the Incas, do one of the following: ask Nati and I; ask Neil and Jules (they visited a couple of years ago); watch the new Indiana Jones movie (see those Nazca Lines? Bounced over them in a shaky four-seater Cessna a few years ago), or; click on http://www.lonelyplanet.com/worldguide/peru/
My favourite trip wasn't to an Inca ruin or old church, but to Lima's colossal fruit markets. Think entire indoor calles de platanos (streets of bananas)...went a bit crazy and we've just finished (thank God) a crate of 100 tunas (delicious cactus fruit, watch the spikes) and another of 100 oranges. Please never show me an orange again, I will have to punch you.
Playing footy every Saturday with friends of Nati's cousin, Martin. It's enjoyable but the word 'pass' has obviously never been translated into Spanish.
And educating myself (don't say it...) with this excellent world history book:
http://www.amazon.com/History-World-Plantagenet-Somerset-Fry/dp/0756612446
Lima has just ground to a halt (literally - they closed all the main roads) for a big conference in which Venezuela president Hugo Chavez accused Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel of sharing Hitler's ideas.
When the roads are open, you have to remember a golden rule when crossing: always look the wrong way, even if it seems inconceivable that a tiny moto (tuk-tuk) would shoot the wrong way down a dual carriageway. Believe me, they do.
I still love my favourite internet cafe - I've now got my own chair and they even watch Thundercats, my favourite cartoon as a child and funnier when Lion-O speaks dubbed Spanish.
Going to Buenos Aires for a week at the end of June, then heading back to London at the start of July.
Hope you are well, thanks for the emails and look forward to seeing you soon.
Ali y Nati